JomGig

TO MY DEAREST WIFE…

MY DEAREST WIFE

To My Dearest Wife,

During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:

We will wake the kids – 54 times

It’s too late – 15 times

I’m too tired – 42 times

It’s too early – 12 times

It’s too hot – 18 times

Pretending to be asleep – 31 times

The neighbors will hear – 9 times

Headache or backache – 26 times

Sunburn – 10 times

Your mother will hear us – 9 times

Not in the mood – 21 times

Watching the late show – 17 times

Too sore – 26 times

New hairdo – 6 times

Wrong time of the month – 14 times

You had to go to the bathroom – 19 times

Of the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let’s try to improve this, shall we??

Love, Your Hubby

**********************

To My Dearest Husband,

I think things are a little confused. Here are the REAL reasons you didn’t get more than you did this past year:

Came home drunk and tried to screw the cat – 23 times

Did not come home at all – 36 times

Did not come – 21 times

Came too soon – 38 times

Went soft before you got it in – 19 times

Cramps in your leg – 16 times

Working too late – 33 times

You had a rash, probably from a toilet seat – 29 times

Caught yourself in your zipper – 15 times

You had a cold and your nose kept running – 21 times

You had burned your tongue on hot coffee – 9 times

You had a splinter in your finger – 11 times

You lost the notion after thinking about it – 42 times

Came in your pajamas after reading a dirty book – 16 times

The reason I laid still was because you had missed me and were screwing the sheet. You seemed to be having a good time and I didn’t want to move and spoil it for you. I wasn’t talking about the crack in the ceiling. What I said was, “Would you like me on my back or kneeling?” The time I was thrashing around and gasping was when you farted and I was fighting for air. Maybe you can work on your “shortcomings?”

Love, Your Wife

got this from:

http://www.lifeisajoke.com/luvnmarriage17_html.htm

GIFTS FOR THE WIFE

Three guys are bragging about what they bought their wives:

The first says:
I bought her something which goes from 0 to 100 in 6 seconds”
The other two guys don’t know what he’s talking about so he reveals,
“I bought her a nice Porsche”

The second guy says:
“I bought something which goes from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds.”
“That HAS to be a Ferrari – right?”
“Yeah that’s right! I bought my wife a nice red Ferrari”

The third one says:
“I bought my wife something which goes from 0 to 200 in just 2 seconds.”
“THAT CAN’T BE – The Ferrari is the fastest car in the world?!”
“Well – it’s not a car, but ………”

A scales

LITTLE OLD LADY

Little old lady

A young man shopping in a supermarket
noticed a little old lady following him around.

If he stopped, she stopped.

Furthermore she kept staring at him.

She finally overtook him at the checkout,
and she turned to him and said,

“I hope I haven’t made you feel ill at ease;
it’s just that you look so much like my late son.”

He answered, “That’s okay.”

“I know it’s silly, but if you’d call out
“Good bye, Mom” as I leave the store,
it would make me feel so happy.”

She then went through the checkout,
and as she was on her way out of the store,
the man called out, “Goodbye, Mom.”

The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him

Pleased that he had brought
a little sunshine into someone’s day,
he went to pay for his groceries.

“That comes to $121.85,” said the clerk.

“How come so much .. I only bought 5 items..”

The clerk replied,

“Yeah, but your Mother said

you’d be paying for her things too.”

Digital Cameras Help and Tips

Digital Cameras Help and Tips

Shared via AddThis

CONDOMS FOR DUMMY

FOR THOSE WHO ENJOYS HAVING SEX A LOT..HERE I SHARE WITH YOU GUYS TYPES OF CONDOM THAT YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN.LOL..

A List of Items To Avoid During Interview

A List of Items to Avoid During the Interview

1) Poorly coordinated attire such as tie and shirt mismatch

2) Untidy hair like just woken from sleep

3) Sport bag instead of briefcase

4) Poor hand shake

5) Poor sitting posture

6) Pale complexion (lady should put on at least lipstick or lip gloss)

7) Poor eye contact

Body odour

9) Playing with fingers throughout the interview

10) Sweaty palms

11) Stare blankly at interviewers

12) Display immaturity

13) Show great anxiety

14) Behave too casually with interviewers

15) Lack of self-confident or over-confident

16) Give very short answer even after prompting by interviewers

17) Talk too much and not answering the question posted

18) Unable to read between the lines of question posted

19) Not forthcoming in replying to questions posted

20) Focus too much on self gain then desire to contribute to Company

21) Unable to post smart questions to gain more insight into job, work team and Company

22) Fail to research on Company and projects

23) Give contradicting replies to questions posted

24) Unable to convince interviewers why the job is a good fit

Always give it your best shoot at interview. Never let the golden opportunity slip away because of reasons you can overcome with some effort. Prepare a checklist such as items to bring or things to do before the interview like research on the Company for yourself so that you can be well prepared for the interview.

Source: http://www.excellent-job-interview-tips.com

12 ways to know you love someone..

WHOM R U THINKING OF NOW??

TWELVE:
You talk with him/her late at night and when you go to bed you still think of him/her.

ELEVEN:
You walk really slowly when you are with him/her.

TEN:
You don’t feel Ok when he/she is far away.

NINE:
You smile when you hear his/her voice.

EIGHT:
When you look at him/her,you do not see other people around you.You see only him/her.

SIX:
He/She is everything you want to think.

FIVE:
You realise that you smile every time you look at him/her.

FOUR:
You would do anything to see him/her.

THREE:
While you have been reading this, there was a person in your mind all the time.

TWO:
You’ve been so busy thinking of that person that you didn’t notice that number SEVEN is missing.

ONE:
You are going to check above if that’s true and now you are silently laughing to yourself.

NOW MAKE A WISH! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT THE MOST…….

*****

ALMOST THERE!

Bung Bratak 1st May 2009

Bung Bratak is the ancestral home of the bidayuhs of the Jagoi-Bratak and other Bidayuh groups in Bau, Kuching and Lundu Districts.

It is confirmed by historians and researchers that Bung Bratak was founded more than 750 years ago. Some believe that the Bung Bratak’s original settlers came from Sungkung, now a part of the Indonesian Province of West Kalimantan.

For hundred of years, the people of Bung Bratak lived peacefully, planting rice and other subsistence crops ata the foot-hills that surrounded the hilltop. The settlement was attacked and razed to the ground on 1st. May 1838 by raiders from the Skrang area. From then on, the people started to move out and started their own villages elsewhere. The last groups to move out were the people of Tembawang Sauh and Jugan who left in the early 1960s.

Bung Bratak was rebuilt by 1841 under the leadership of Panglima Kulow who sought the assistance of James Brooke, the First White Rajah of Sarawak.

Over thirty villages in Bau and Lundu Districts, one in Penrissen(Kuching District) and seven in the Seluas District of West Kalimantan, Indonesia originate from Bung Bratak. Many other villages in Bau (e.g,Kandis and Sungei Pinang) and Kuching (Bumbuk) alsi originated from Bung Bratak, they were established before the attack in 1838.

Because of its historical significance, Bidayuhs of the villages that claim their ancestry to Bung Bratak visit it on 1st May each year to commemorate its fall in 1838,and to remember their past and origin.

Bung Bratak Day was initiated and proclaimed by the Dayak Bidayuh National Association (DBNA) in 1988, then headed by Dato’ Peter Minos.

Source: Bidayuh.com

——————————————————————————————–Last Friday, 1st may 2009 me and my wife went to this historical bidayuh’s place called Bung Bratak. Bung means “top” and bratak means “fight/war/quearral’.it is known that this is the place where Biadayuhs form Bau/Lundu originated. we were driving from Kuching for about an hour before reaching the place. then we have to park far from the hill as there were limited parking space, but no worries, its safe. but then,you can also go by public transport.

If you go by public transport, just take the Sarawak Transport Company (STC) Bus No.2 and pay RM3 for the trip. The bus leaves every 40 minutes and takes around an hour to reach the settlement (first bus is at 6am, last bus is at 6pm); alternatively you can take a taxi to get to the area.

 

we started our journey about 9am from kuching and arrived there about 10am.after putting on our shoes,we started the journey.although its only a kilometres of hiking uphill, but because of the slippery and muddy tracks due to the raining previous night, it made the hiking more tiresome and fun (i guess).

to go uphill, there were staircases built by the villagers,but not all the way.the stairs are built using teak wood and even its is slippery as it was covered with mud and fungi..

after a long 1 hour hiking..we reached the top..yeah!!it was a feeling of satisfaction.with all the sweating, wet shirt and even pants, short of breath..it was a well worth journey to a historical place of your own heritage.it was a pleasure to finally step your foot on top of the hill.

on top Bung Bratak, you can see the “Baruk” and the “Balai” where activities such as Kumang Bidayuh (bidayuh maiden), bidayuh traditional dance, etc were held..

after spending almost 2 hours enjoying the views and taking pictures, we went down.the journey downhill is much more easier than going uphill with our happy faces and satisfaction.

here are some views and picies taken around Bung Bratak:

 

to be continue… 

 

Interview Qs: Common Ask Qs

Most interviewers ask questions in a planned sequence.  They usually ask questions that relate to your:

 

Education                                                                    Work Experience

Interpersonal skills                                                       Skills and Strengths

Ability to take initiative and solve problems                   Career goals

 

 

 

Personal Background

-           Tell us about yourself.

-           What would you say is your greatest strength / quality as an individual ?

-           What are your hobbies? What do you normally do to pass your time?

-           What about your greatest weakness?

-           What would you say is your greatest achievement?

-           According to your resume you were not very active in sports/co-curricular activities during your school and college days, why ? ( if you were really not active in sports )

-           According to your resume you were very active in sports/co-curricular

            activities during your school and college days, how did you manage your time between your studies and activities? Has being active in extra-curricular activities helped you in any way? ( if you were really active in sports )

-           Are you a team player?

 

            Qualifications

 

-           What did you enjoy most about being a student?

-           Tell us more about your final year project.

-           What were the most important things you learned while studying?

 

-           Your exam results are not very impressive, why do you think I should take a

            chance in hiring you?

 

            Work Experience

-           Have you worked before? / Do you have any work experience?

-           Did you work while waiting for your results ? If yes, tell me what you have learned from the job ? If no, why ?

-           What would you say were some of the most important things you have learnt

            during your practical training ?

-           You mention here in your resume that you have worked with company X.

            Could you tell us briefly what you did there?

-           Why did you leave your last job/the job at company X? 

-           You don’t have much work experience, why do you think I should take a chance in hiring you?

-           What do you think of doing overtime on a regular basis?

-           What about shift work?

-           Would you prefer working alone or with others?

-           Can you work under pressure? What makes you say that (if your answer is ‘yes’)?

-           In a supervisory role, how do you think you can motivate your staff?

-           How would you deal with a subordinate who takes sick leave frequently?

 

            The Company and the Job

-           What do you know about us ?

-           How did you manage to know so much about us ?

-           What do you know about the job ?

-           What qualities do you think a candidate should have in order to succeed in the

            job?

-           What is it about the company that appeals to you most ?

-           What is your career objective ? Where would you like to be, career wise, in

            5 years’ time ?

-           Some people have problems coping with work stress. What would you do if

            work became very stressful for you?

-           Is money, in this case salary, very important to you? What other things would

            you say are important to you?

-           Would you say you are prepared to have long-term commitment to the

            company?

 

            Others

-           Do you intend to further your studies ?

-           What do you think if we send you to one of our branches ?

            ( Assuming that you do not want to go there )

-           What is your expected salary ?

-           Would you like to ask us anything ?

 

 

ok..those are some possible interview questions that i have gather from some resources..hope it’ll help in the interview. But first of all,bear in mind that the most important things for any interview to succeed and will get you the job is actually “BE PREPARED!”never take it lightly..your future depends on it and your actions and responds will reflect you as a future employee of a company…so always be PREPARED!!!

 

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